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There needs to be a Facebook button that eliminates weddings from time lines. There are 3 today and it’s been so dumb on my timeline

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"Gary Oldman (Sirius Black) actually came around the next morning, because we lived near each other at the time, and he said, ‘Have you seen the new book? We’ve got a lot of work to do, mate.’ He was quite happy, and I didn’t know how to break it to him. So I said, ‘Have you actually read it yet, Gaz?’ ‘No, just clicked through it.’ A few days later I’m in makeup and he comes in, and sits down, and goes ‘Have you heard the news?’ ‘What’s that, Gaz?’ ‘It’s terrible fucking news.’ ‘What is it?’ ‘You know how everyone is talking about who dies in book five? It’s fucking me! This woman puts the poor bastard in prison for 12 years, brings him back for a few scenes, and then she kills him!’"

- David Thewlis (Remus Lupin)

(via weepingangels91011)

Source: adarkandstormyteatime
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  • 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
  • 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
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  • 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
  • Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
  • 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
  • 2014 History Channel: Was Hitler an Alien?
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Can’t stop stress eating

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"The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out."

Source: chattiest
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